afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize