I faked an abortion last night.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
