So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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