im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Randomize
