I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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