i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
