It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
