On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I cannot find my penis.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
