I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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