Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm really busy with my period
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