meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
