She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
