Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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