i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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