I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
