i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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