if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
