Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
