I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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