Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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