Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Boobs are out for the taking
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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