he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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