five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
