We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
