I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize