How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you didnt know i had herpes?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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