I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
