She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
