So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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