He is such a slut. More and more my type.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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