i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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