we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
