it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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