don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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