Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize