Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
