i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
