Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
