coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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