Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
