i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
