What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
