I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
