ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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