It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
