how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
