he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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