the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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