haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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