Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
