I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
