i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
