Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize