You smell like a Billy Joel song
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
