He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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