i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
