I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
