she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
