i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
