I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she was so not down for the gang bang
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
