The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
